So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
