ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
