my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My pussy is not your playground.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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