and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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