what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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