she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
