Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You smell like stripper and shame
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
