everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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