This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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