Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
