Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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