I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
