Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
