HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
