You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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