Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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