Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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