i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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