I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
