Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
