Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
