He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
