i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
