Pants 0. Shit 1.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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