once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do herpes really smell.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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