Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
