This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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