i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I love you. Go after that dick
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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