He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
