return my video game
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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