Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
