i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
