Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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