When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
