you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
