went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
