When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
