we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
