Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
