It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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