Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
