D3 body, D1 cock
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
