I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
