we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
