I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
