How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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