He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
