I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
