I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize