Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize