the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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