I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
