my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
