If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
