hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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