she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Farmville is her only friend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
