ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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