we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
