I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize