Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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